I’m probably going to say some triggering things,
but I’m hoping you stay around to listen,
to hear this.
I mean it’s been heavy on my mind that you’re not feeling fine and I hope I’m
not crossing the line,
by trying to stay close by your side.
But,
your energy feels like do or die.
I be hugging you while praying you’ll
survive and thrive and it’s weighing heavy on my spine.
I see you around and can notice a fraudulent frown,
flipped upside down …
eyes tired, weighed down by life with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
But you keep trying to sit up straight.
Go on dates, focus on your career, family and community.
You like to pop out and show love.
Dedication.
Commitment.
You spend time with the bruhs,
but
they don’t know all your business.
Y’all ain’t really talking about much.
All too busy trying to prove to the world that none of you have a crutch.
Every once in a while you might share your feelings with someone you semi-trust,
but often it’s blown off like dust.
Swept under the rug or not discussed enough.
So the pressure continues to build up,
and to prevent from exploding,
you learn multiple ways to slowly bust.
Maybe through lust, drugs, rage,
maybe writing on a page.
Oh the fear of shame.
Sometimes sadness starts to look like anger.
You and danger are far from being strangers.
Y’all been lovers for so long that y’all got your own little song…
And you sing-along when you’re alone because trouble always picks up the phone.
It knows when you’re not ok.
It knows all about your day.
Some days you choose risky behavior because you haven’t ever felt safe.
Not safe enough to tell your full story,
without the risk of being judged as a man.
So instead of being who you are,
you revert to who you were or who society said you should be.
Knowingly or subconsciously.
You know back in the days,
traditionally speaking,
people would say a man ain’t supposed to cry, but that’s the biggest lie.
That’s part of the reason why so many men die or have a difficult time valuing human life.
They have so many emotions bottled inside, with no outlet to subside.
Men have been emotionally deprived throughout time.
So why are we surprised when the death tolls rise?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s right or justified.
I’m just saying I get how society played its role.
Truth be told.
Men,
I don’t mind to watch you cry, and gently wipe your eyes.
You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence or resort to violence.
Tomorrow ain’t promised, but we should all have something to look forward to.
I’m looking forward to more men feeling comfortable living in their truth.
I’m looking forward to society continuing to tell the youth
that emotions and expressing yourself is healthy,
and you ain’t got nothing to prove.
So to conclude…
I might have said some things that are uncomfortable to hear,
but thank you for being a listening ear, and if ever you want to talk, just know I’m here.
See Shanti Lair-Croom’s previous work, and stay up-to-date with her on Instagram.
